Try Hard

Explanations > Motivation > Kahler's drivers > Try Hard

Imperative | Identification | Benefits | Problems | Treatment | So what?

This is one of the five drivers originally identified in the field of Transactional Analysis by Taibi Kahler. Here are some simple and useful notes on it.

Imperative

• I cannot refuse requests. I must at least try.
• I must improve and always get better.
• Wherever I am is not good enough.

Identification

• Not satisfied with what has been done.
• Language that uses the verb 'try' (rather than 'will').
• Tense and anxious in appearance.
• Will often side with the underdog, seeking to right wrongs.
• May well not achieve goals (although these are often high).

Benefits

• They always give of their utmost in all situations.
• Persistence in difficult and time-consuming situations.
• Helping others.
• Working toward noble causes.

Problems

• Craving praise, but never satisfied when it is given.
• Find criticism very hurtful, especially for not trying enough or not considering others.
• Effort of trying leads to physical burn-out.
• Lots of 'trying' but no real result.
• Fear of completion (run out of things to try).
• Expecting others to try harder.

Treatment

• Use their need to improve to help them to not try too hard.
• Praise for completion of specific items. Do not praise just for effort.
• Help them move from 'trying' to 'succeeding'. Start with the language they use.
• Stop them moving to another task before the first is complete.
• Help them distinguish between that which is achievable and that which is not realistically possible.

So what?

Recognize these drivers in yourself and others and treat them accordingly.

See also

Ellis' Irrational Beliefs

Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script.  Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3

http://www.taibikahlerassociates.com/PTMvsPCM.phtml